My Testimony

Honestly, I find it difficult to call this “my testimony” because when I reflected upon what I wanted to express, I stumbled upon these verses from 1 John 5:9,11-12 which states “We accept man’s testimony, but God’s testimony is greater because it is the testimony of God, which He has given about His Son….And this is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and this life is in His Son. He who has the Son has life; he who does not have the Son does not have life.” So when I read this verse, I want to let you know that I am simply telling my story of God’s testimony in my life.

Before I met Christ personally:
Before I truly accepted Christ in my life I was heavily involved with my church. I was a good kid who grew up in south Tulsa with a good family. We went to church every Sunday, well my sister eventually stopped going. When I was approaching the 5th grade, I went through the church’s confirmation class in which young kids learn about the foundations of the Christian faith and get “confirmed” into the church. During my confirmation my parents decided that it was a good time for me to be baptized, not knowing that I did not fully accept Christ into my heart. My baptism was no different from that of a baby, except that I wasn’t dressed up in a cute outfit and the congregation didn’t say, “Awww” after the minister sprinkled water over my head. But still, it was not a true baptism which should be the ceremony one goes through to celebrate his or her true acceptance of who Christ Jesus was and is.
During middle school I got more involved with the church’s youth program. The church just hired a new youth pastor who was great for the youth and for me in that he challenged my thinking and encouraged me to learn more. At a time in middle school, the church went through a major split in which around 50% of the members left, including my parents. I still enjoyed the church and did not want to leave. So from there on, I went to a different church from that of my parents. Usually one of my parents would drop me off and pick me up later, or I would hitch a ride home from someone else. As I grew up in the church, I noticed my dad being more involved with a new church and my mom not so much. They invited me to go to their church, but it was never much a relationship in which they shared their faith.
As I went into the senior high, I got heavily involved through mission trips, bible studies, and leadership roles in the junior and senior high youth groups. So throughout this whole time I simply went through the motions of going to church and just being somebody there. That’s all. I never really recall discussions about turning your life over to Christ. In fact, when I first started coming to Discovery, I noticed that they did not require new members to be baptized, and I thought, “Phew… I’ve already been baptized,” but I wasn’t truly baptized with the Spirit. Now I’ve had those “mountain-top” experiences where I felt close to God yet I was never close to God at all. I was just a Christian who wasn’t a true Christian.

How my need for Christ was made evident
My need for Christ came to me as I continued to come to Discovery. I started to pick up on this concept of “giving your life to Christ” and what it was like to fully accept Christ Jesus as your Lord and Savior. At the same time I felt as if my wife was trying to push me as if she sort of knew the condition of my faith. I knew she was a true believer, and I told her that I was. Now I know that I was only lying to her and myself… and the others at the wedding, etc. So, I was going through the new beginner’s class at Discovery and Pastor Mike was discussing the church’s beliefs and what not. Around this time I started to really notice that I had not accepted Jesus into my heart, but I that I had only thought of my faith from a mental aspect. Yeah I knew parts of the Bible. I knew Christ is Lord, but I never accepted this with my whole heart. I had said, “Jesus is Lord,” but never believed it in my heart. Looking at Romans 10:9 which states, “If you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved,” I was not saved. I simply went through the motions of saying, “Jesus is Lord,” which means nothing unless I say it while believing it with my whole heart. I had been going through this motion for my whole life. It was like the story with Nicodemus from the Gospel of John 3:12 in which Jesus tell Nicodemus, “I have spoken to you of earthly things and you do not believe; how then will you believe if I speak of heavenly things?” During the month of September, I began to feel an inner struggle. I was on the fence on the whole acceptance issue. I wanted to jump right in, but was holding back.

How I committed my life to Christ
During the month of September, I almost fought myself over this issue. I was sitting on the fence thinking about what I wanted to do. I began to realize that it was not what I wanted to do but what God was calling me to do. So during the Church service on September 14th, I began to reflect upon my relationship with Christ and accepted Him as my Lord and Savior. I decided to open up myself and turn my life over to Him. At that moment, I felt the tension on my heart melt away. There was no burden for me to carry. No thoughts for me to struggle with. I all could do was take the big leap and let Christ in. That was the best feeling I’ve ever felt. I shared my story with Pastor Glenn the following week during a meeting with him and my wife as we became members of the Discovery. In fact, that was the first time I told my wife about my relationship with Christ. During the first service in the new sanctuary, Pastor Glenn briefly mentioned my story to the congregation, and I felt that same feeling once again. The gentleman sitting right next to me simply stated, “Amen” afterwards, not knowing that it was me who Glenn was talking about. Also during the first service in the new sanctuary, I felt reaffirmed by Pastor Dirk’s message about the story of Nicodemus and that gentleman sitting next to me and I greeted one another in a typical “greetings” fashion and he said, “I love how this church really challenges your faith.” Now I felt a great appreciation for the church for not only making me question my faith, which lead to me accepting Christ into my heart, but hearing a member in the congregation celebrate my acceptance. What a sense of support from this community! After that service, I went home and began a short Bible lesson from a study Bible I had used in high school, and one of the first stories was about Nicodemus. So I want to reflect on a few verses from the Bible: Ephesians 2:8 “It is by grace you are saved, through faith – it is a gift from God.” John 20:31 “Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that by believing, you may have life in his name.” And going back to 1 John and God’s testimony, v10-12 “Anyone who believes in the Son of God has this testimony in his heart…And this is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. He who has the Son has life…” So I confess with my mouth that “Jesus is Lord” and I believe this with my heart. Now I feel as if I am born again. It is a spiritual birth like in John 3:5 in which Jesus states, “No one can enter the kingdom of God unless he is born of water and the Spirit.” I am born again of the Spirit by accepting Christ as my Lord and Savior and of the water through a true baptism which are two steps in my recent spiritual birth.

The difference God has made in my life
Since I turned my life to Christ, I feel that my life has a bigger purpose. I feel that I the need to open myself up to my wife and daughter more. I do sense an even closer bond to my wife, and I thank her for her support in all that I do. She has served as a role model for me and has played a major role in my acceptance of Christ. I cannot thank her enough. I also feel the urge to sort of “go with it” and push myself to focus more on my relationship with Christ whether it be through a small group at the church or even starting to read the Bible on my own. Now I mentioned that I felt the tension sort of melt away as I accepted Jesus. I know that it was not easy to let go nor will my day-to-day life be even easier. I know that I will sin from time-to-time, but as long as I have Christ in my heart and ask for forgiveness, I will be with the Maker after this world. Although I am not perfect nor is any Christian perfect, we must remember that we will be forgiven. Colossians 1:22-23 states that “God has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation- if you continue in your faith, established and firm…” So I encourage all to begin to evaluate their relationship with Christ and open up your heart for the great adventure that awaits you.